THE EFFECT OF DIVORCE ON THE FAMILY: IMPLICATIONS FOR COUNSELLING

THE EFFECT OF DIVORCE ON THE FAMILY: IMPLICATIONS FOR COUNSELLING

ABSTRACT

The institution of marriage commands high social recognition and, importance in our society. Marriage is a social institution that is designed among other things by God to be enjoyed by humans and not to be endured. Since it involves two adults that comes together to live as one, conflicts will arise which will shake the union to its very foundation. Causes of the conflicts are numerous; some of them could be avoided with pre marital counselling, marriage counselling proper and post marital counselling to produce a stable family life.

Divorce is a total brake down of the marriage union without remedy. Some causes are lack of communication, lack of love for one another, lack of tolerance between the couple, barrenness in the typical African system, conflicts of individual roles and a host of others.

The effects of divorce goes beyond just the couples, even beyond the immediate family members, also extends to the children’s future life because it affects their whole total life.  This research work considered the effect of divorce on the immediate family members in the area of the pupil’s attitude to examination, the moral performance of pupils from divorced parents, the academic performances and the pupil’s attitude to drugs and alcohol.

From these effects, five hypotheses were developed and administered to four different schools in Surulere Local Government Area of Lagos State. One hundred males and one hundred females were selected from Aquinas Private College, Penny International College, Sanya Senior Secondary School and Aguda Grammar School.

The importance and relevance of guidance and counselling before marriage, during marriage and even after divorce cannot be overemphasized. To assist and help the adolescent make valid decisions and the decision taken to be realistic, so that the person can be responsible for his or her actions.

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

BACKGROUND OF THE SYUDY

Marriage is a social institution that is designed among other things to ensure the happiness and fulfillment of men and women. Marriage according to Olusanya (1982) is a sacred and permanent contract between a man and a woman who have consented to live a life of fidelity and caring for each other for the purpose of promoting their mutual growth and welfare throughout their lives.

A family is the bedrock of any society. A healthy family produces a healthy and crime free individuals in a society, while an unhealthy and unstable family produces an unstable and criminal congested society or community. A man from a troubled home cannot be productive likewise a woman from an unstable home cannot be termed a “virtuous woman” which produces a healthy and uncultured off springs.

Marriage… made in heaven! Marriage vows… taken to be together forever! The magical starting days of married life are full of dreams and pleasure. But as the time passes, many couples may begin to realize that they are not perfect for each other. They come to know about the huge differences between them; and feel that they are not compatible with each other. Small arguments may turn to big conflicts.