THE CHARACTERISTIC OF GOOD FUTURE PARTNER AS PERCEIVED BY STUDENTS IN TERTIARY INSTITUTIONS IN OYO TOWN

ABSTRACT

          The purpose of this study is to investigate on the characteristic of good future partners as perceived by students in tertiary institutions in Oyo town. The variables of interest were gender, age, family background, institution and religion.

          Two hundred respondents were sampled for the study. Five hypotheses were formulated and tested. Frequency counts and simple percentages were used to analyse the demographic data of respondents. While t-test statistic and analysis of variance (ANOVA) statistical procedures were used to test the null hypotheses generated.

          The result of the study revealed that the major characteristics of a good future partner is that a good future partner must be morally upright and God fearing, this characteristics ranked first in the ranking table. Next to this are “a good future partner must be a very caring person and someone I really love. These two characteristics are strong and important characteristics needed in choosing a good future partner.

          Base on the findings of this study it was recommended that effort should be made by professional counsellors to organize seminars to enlighten youths on the need to be conscious of their choice on characteristics of good future partner. And that the curriculum planners should design curriculum in such a way that marriage education will be given the proper place in Nigerian tertiary institutions, to ensure that the right values are inculcated into the youths.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Title Page                                                                                i        

Approval Page                                                                        ii

Dedication                                                                              iii

Acknowledgement                                                                  iv

Abstract                                                                                  vi

Table of Contents                                                                   vii

List of Tables                                                                          xi      

CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION

Background to the Study                                                      1

Statement of the Problem                                                      10

Research Questions                                                               15

Research Hypotheses                                                            16

Purpose of the Study                                                             17

Significance of the Study                                                       17

Operational Definition of Terms                                            19

Scope of the Study                                                                 20

CHAPTER TWO: REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

Introduction                                                                 21

Concept and meaning of Marriage                                        22

Importance of Marriage                                                         27

Types of Marriage                                                                  32

The Spouse Selection Theories                                             37

Qualities of a Good Future Partner                                      44

Characteristics Considered in Selecting a Good

Future Partner                                                                       47

General Limitations on Selection                                          57

Summary of the Review of Related Literature            63

CHAPTER THREE: METHODOLOGY

Introduction                                                               66

Research Design                                                                    66

Sample and Sampling Procedure                                         67

Instrumentation                                                           89

Psychometric Properties of the Instrument                         69

Validity                                                                                   69

Reliability                                                                                70

Procedure for Data Collection and Administration           71

Method of Data Analysis                                                       71

CHAPTER FOUR: RESULTS

Introduction                                                                           72

Demographic Data                                                                 72

Hypotheses Testing                                                                80

Summary of Findings                                                            85

CHAPTER FIVE: DISCUSSION, CONCLUSION, AND

  RECOMMENDATIONS

Introduction                                                               87

Discussion                                                                             88

Conclusion                                                                             91

Implication for Counselling                                                   92

Recommendations                                                                 93

Suggestions for Further Studies                                           94

References                                                                              95

Appendix                                                                                98

LIST OF TABLES

Table 1:      Distribution of Respondents on the basis of Gender                   73

Table 2:      Distribution of Respondents on the basis of age                   74

Table 3:      Distribution of Respondents on the basis of family background                 75

Table 4:      Distribution of Respondents on the basis of Institution           76

Table 5:      Distribution of Respondents on the basis of Religion       77

Table 6:      Rank order of items on the characteristic of good future partners        78

Table 7:      Means, standard deviation and t-value of respondents on the basis of Gender             80

Table 8:      Mean, standard deviation and t-value of respondents on the basis of age           81

Table 9:      Analysis of Variance (ANOVA) result comparing the mean scores of responses on the characteristics of good future partner as perceived by respondents on the basis of family background                         82

Table 10:    Analysis of Variance (ANOVA) result on the characteristic of good future partner as perceived by respondents on the basis of institution 83

Table 11:    Analysis of Variance (ANOVA) result on the characteristic of good future partner as perceived by respondents on the basis of religion      84

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

Background to the Study

          Selection of a mate is an integral part of life, it is a step needed in building a good marriage. Many human needs for happiness can be satisfied in the family circle between partners, and a warm family relationship can fill human’s normal longing to be loved, to be appreciated to feel needed in a wonderful way. History have it that marriage remains the most respected institution in the world and man has been known to seek for a partner with whom to spend his life time, because it’s a life time commitment (Kumuyi, 2005). It is a natural trait that humans want to have mates or companions with whom they share the various aspects of their lives: in order to satisfy sexual, social and other psychological desires.

          Human behaviour is because of stimuli from environment acting upon instincts and emotions (Sundharm and Vaish, 1978). Hence, at a certain stage in a person’s life, due to such societal stimuli, he or she becomes more concerned with the idea of having a family. Family arrangement or as an institution is a societal recognized means through which a man and a woman become husband and wife. Culturally until the twentieth century, it was relevantly rare for adults to go through life without marrying (Sundharm and Vaish, 1978). Basically, marriage is publicly recognized as a conjugal unit, or more or less as a permanent alliance between a man and a woman. In most societies, the families of the partners have a role in establishing the relationship. Often choosing the mate, and at the least manifesting their approval of the choice. Most often, they participate in rite of passage, which constitutes formal marriage.

          The characteristics that one looks for while choosing a good mate vary from one individual to another, one family to another and even culture to culture. Some young individuals have had a say or at least a veto in their choice of their marriage partner, while others were dependent on family backing. Individuals who want to make independent choices can pay their own way and get marry even when their family strongly disapproves it. Most people however, seek family consent for their choice of life partner. Although the choice of spouse may give rise to interpersonal conflict, most young people still consult their parents about it.

          It is a firmly established societal view that the issue of selecting a mate and marriage itself goes beyond the couple alone. The immediate families of the two and even extended families often influence the life of the couple and dynamic of the marriage. Willingness on the part of the couple in co-operating with such external influence is often due to their dependence on the relative for financial and moral supports have a special reason for seeking parental or family approval in selecting her mate. She is more likely to receive sympathy and attention should there be a marital break up if the folks approved the alliance initially.

          To summarise the above points some characteristics that an individual looks for in selecting his or her marriage partner can be referred to as yardsticks by which an individual measure. Oloko (1994) observes the following as characteristic of selecting a good spouse; physical beauty, discipline, social aptness, love, proper grooming and wealth. Other yardsticks mentioned in the reference cited above include religious affiliation, modesty, and humility. Odofin (2005) also stated that if a wise choice of ones life partner is to be made, the following attributes have to be considered:

• Such a life partner must be a responsible person.
•  He or she must be submissive, obedient and reliable.
• He or she must be sexually appealing.
• He or she must not be loose
• He or she must not worship money.
• He or she must be humble and mannered.
• He or she must be neat and presentable
• He or she must be a person to be proud of at any given time.

All these characteristics are reflection of the person’s educational religious and cultural background as well as his or her general social orientation. An individual’s perception of what he would like to become and his prospective future circumstances are also strong determinant. This is simply due to the fact that one’s mate can go along way actively or other wise influencing one’s personality and future prospects. Although these criteria are a measure that shows what type of person an individual is. It is therefore vital that one selects a mate that will serve to complement him or her.

From the Islamic perspective marriage is sacred and must be under taken by believes. The Prophet Muhammed (S.A.W) said “marriage is lawful relationship, whoever defiles it, is not of me”. Hadith. Allah in the Glorious Quran stated that: “And of this signs is this: He created for you helpmate from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy lo, here indeed are portent for folk who reflect” (Quran chapter 30 Vs 21). The general purpose of marriage in Islam is that the sexes can provide company to one another, love to one another, procreate children and live in peace and tranquility to the commandments of Allah. And there is no place for celibacy in Islam. Also in Islam, marriage is seen as “mithag” a solemn convent (agreement). It should be entered into with total commitment and full knowledge of what it involves, it is not a matter which can be taken lightly. Marriage is also a form of “Ibadah” (worship) because it is a means of obeying Allah and His messenger, that is marriage is seen as the only possible way for the sexes to unite. One could choose to live in sin, however, by choosing marriage one is displaying obedience to Allah. (Tannah, 2005).

In the Holy Scriptures, the Bible emphasizes the importance of choosing or having a good spouse. On selecting a good mate: I Corinthians 7:39 says “….. she is free to be married to whom she wants only in the Lord.” This statement assumes that a good spouse can be found only within the Lord, that is in the Christian congregation. Also Genesis chapter 2 Vs 18 reads as follows: “And the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to continue by himself, I am going to make helper for him as a complement of him”. The word “helper” and complement are used to signify that it is a good wife that can really complement the good qualities in a man. The book of Proverbs chapter 18 Vs 22 says: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord”.

In the work of Dominion (1968), Mbiti (1962) and Blood (1972) all of whom agreed that the selection of a mate is either made by the Traditional African Society or by the family and relatives. Mbiti (1969) reported that at times, the choice of spouse or marriage partner was made even before the child was born. Lucy (1969) reported that until recent times, it was common in Nigeria for both boys and girls to be betrothed before puberty. Blood (1972) writing on the same issue, stated that in the past ageing parents whose children were still not married would struggle valiantly against illness and old age. They could not afford to die until they had discharge their obligation to their ancestors by successfully completing the marriage arrangements for their children.

In the Traditional African setting therefore, the selection of a spouse was mainly that of the family or relative with or without the knowledge and consent of the would be couple. According to Ibidun (1977) marriage, and family life form an integral aspect of the extended traditional Nigeria, marriages is a family based affair for parents made the selection or choice of partners for their sons or daughters.

In contrary to the above practice Ojo (1988) stated that, in making a choice of marriage partner, youths and other educated elites believe that it is the responsibility of intending couples to make their choice. While parents should only serve as counsellors where and when necessary. Later the couples will then introduce themselves to their parents while they continue until they ask for their parental acceptance from the two homes. Selection of spouses or good spouses entails a lot of investigations by the two parties involved so as to assure the quality they want in their spouses. Such as love, beauty, grooming, discipline, education, etc.

It is interesting to note that in Nigeria, there are different types of marriage with full legal implications. Among these types of marriage enumerated by Adeoye (1975) are: church marriage, court marriage, and traditional marriage. According to Fadeiye (1995), there is Muslim marriage which allows for polygamous family. Those not receiving parental or family approval often settle for court marriage or ordinance” performance of traditional or customary marriage is clear indication that the couple sought and receive family approvals.

This study is aimed at finding out the characteristics of good future partners, using the students in tertiary institutions in Oyo town as case study. This is intended to assist youth in mate selection exercise, since they are the leaders of tomorrow.

Statement of the Problem