EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION AND MARRIAGE STABILITY: A CASE STUDY OF EKET URBAN RESIDENTS
CHAPTER ONE
1.0 Introduction
We live in a dynamic world, prone to change our society becomes more complex, so marriage as an institution is very much affected. The world is après button world of quick result and every thing runs very fast-a-jet age; everybody wants things done at a press button process and marriage is not left out. But one think he can run along with marriage this way, he will surely meet the ship-wreck.
Marriage by the bible point of view is termed as an intimate personal union which man and woman consent consummated and continuously nourished by sexual intercourse and perfected in a life-long partnership of mutual love an commitment. It is also a social institution regulated by the word of God and by the laws and customs which a society develops to safeguard its own continuity and welfare. God instituted marriage in order to display his full image only on the couple. Each is meant for each other exclusively with the responsibility of raring a family and taking care of their children. The duty of husband and wife is god’s creative will which enables them grow together in life comradeship. in 1 cor. 7:39 (KJV) the bible says:
“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be death, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wills”.
St. Paul comprehends marriage obligation for husband under the principles of love, its highest standard being the love of Christ of r his church- Ephesians 5: 25-28 (KJV). Fidelity is very mush required in marriage and the wife’s duties are for her to obey and submit to her husband.
In the circular word, marriage is contracted as a basis for establishment of a family. Marriage is found amongst all societies, primitive and civilized, though it takes different forms. In some societies, marriage is arranged by relative who chose wives or husbands for their children without the consent of the couples. Another form is the one in which a man claims a bride by eloping with her. But the most common and acceptable form is the one which a bride price is paid by the groom’s side. The marriage ceremony is done with the consents of both parents and their families. After the native law, the couple may decide to go to court and sign court registry to have a legal backing and they may end it up by having a wedding in the church for the witness of everybody.
The giving of dowry in marriage does not mean that women are bought or sold as a property or that they are ranked low in status and power, but it is for strengthening of the marriage. It is also for the prestige of both families and serves as compensation the brides family for their investment on their daughter. It also serve as pre-paid alimony incase of divorce initiative by the groom.
In our society we have different types of marriage like; polygamy which is one man marrying many wives, monogamy, this is where one man marries one wise which could be said to be the best in the present economic system. Polyandry is a type where a wife can marry more than one husband. This is mostly practices by Tiberts and Todas of southern India. This could be compared to wife-lending practiced by Eskimos where a man may lend his wife to his friends as sign of hospitality. There is incest-brother marrying sister or father marrying his daughter. There is exogamy-marriage outside the group. Endogamy is the prescription of marriage within a particular group.
Oyedepo (1988) says in her book “marriage covenant” that,
Marriage is a gold, and like most precious metals, one must invest time and resources to ensure it and fashion it into a jewel of great price”.
Marriage is an institution and since no institution can work in isolation, it needs an important tool which is effective communication to work with. Man and woman in marriage must have to communicate all the days of their lives. commucnaiton based on this study could be termed as the process of selecting, producing and transmitting of signs and symbols in a ways that the receiver perceives a meaning similar to that of the communicator.
Communication between husband and wife could be desc5ribed as inter-personal. This is a two-way process which requires immediate feedback and where the commucnaiton environment must ever lap to bring a conversation. The vehicle of commucnaiton in the family is language that constitutes words. This could be expressed verbally or non-verbally. The place of effective commucnaiton in marriage is the key to effective marriage relationship. Negative words in marriage would produce pessimistic, while positive words in marriage would produce optimists, possibility thinkers and achievers. love in marriage must be expressed in words through communication. The uniqueness in marriage lies in couple communication not isolation.
The high rate of divorces and broken marriage and the untold suffering of the children of these homes especially in Uyo urban sadden the researcher. Rampant newspaper a advertisement like the vanguard of July 7, 196- divorce between Prince Charles and Princess Diana is a shame to the marriage institution. There are high rate of societal evils in our land. these and many other marital ills in the mind of the researcher has prompted her to study and investigate the problems by assessing the extent to which communication or lack of it, helps to better or batter the marriage institution.
The objectives of this are:
- To ascertain the nature of communication that exists in marriage
- To assess the implications of the nature of communication in marriage to their success or failure
- To find out other communication related problems of marriage from the studied sample.
- To suggest possible remedies for commucnaiton related problems of marriage based on the findings of the study.
1.3 Research questions
- What kinds of communication exist among married couples?
- To what extent does effective commucnaiton or lack of it influence the success of marriage?
